Tiny Macpherson is a street fighting creature man. He was born on the street, he lives on the street, and he lives for the street. You got a problem with that?
Macpherson is a red blooded American patriot, and when he's in the ring he is fighting the good fight for all Americans. He is busting a lip for freedom, and crushing a muzzle for for the red, white, and blue.
When Tiny is in the ring he is also pulverizing a skull or two for Jesus, who did not have the opportunity to be an American, but surely would be now if given the chance.
Tomorrow is the big night! Tune in to see if Tiny Macpherson will take the Polyweight Championship title from the handsome and debonair Lucky Godinez. Place your bets, ladies and gentleman... and may the best man win.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Polyweight Championship boxing match!
In this corner we have the graceful and winsome Lucky Godinez, the Prince of Pummel.
And in this corner we have the salacious and flinty Tiny Macpherson, the Punishing Proletariat.
Keep it clean, keep it breakneck, and keep it coming. May the best man win!
Both of these fighters are in fine shape and appear to be pretty evenly matched so far...
Macphereson is coming in with his menacing signature style.
OH! Right in the kidneys! That's gotta hurt.
Lucky is furious now and comes back with a vengeance!
OH! Macpherson is down, ladies and gentlemen! We did not see this coming so soon!
Wait, we spoke to soon! Macpherson rebounds! He is back on his feet and coming down hard on the confounded Lucky.
The crowd is enthralled with all this furious action. Round one is over and neither fighter shows any sign of debility. It's going to be a long night, folks... stay tuned for round two.
Welcome back for round two of the first annual Polyweight Championship. Softlife hopeful Lucky Godinez and underdog Tiny Macphereson are fighting fierce as the bloodthirsty crowd looks on.
Godinez bears down upon Macphereson with a bewildering ferocity. One thing for sure, he is holding nothing back tonight, folks!
Tiny Macpherson is taking a brutal beating!
At the end of round two both fighters are looking grim... even the referee looks exhausted.
Macpherson is making an incredible comeback! He seems to have caught his second wind and with it a barbaric determination to bring Lucky Godinez down!
Tiny Macpherson, the Urban Undulator, is the new Polyweight Champion! This is an unexpected victory for the Proletariat Pugilist, and one that has lost Softlife it's shirt. It's easy come, easy go in the roughneck world of professional boxing. We are now easily going to Sporty's Sports Bar for a stiff drink. Or Two.